Friday, September 5, 2008

20 Fool Proof ways of getting a GPL.

1.Bang all the doors of your corridor as loudly as you can at 4 in the morning during a weekday, preferably if there are labs the next day.

2.During a serious game of carom in the common room creep up slowly from behind a player and scatter the dots. If you can manage it at regular intervals the more chances of success.

3.Sit quietly with your friends who have been dying to see this suspense flick for ages (The Dark Knight…for e.g.) and because you have seen it before shout out the climax.

4.When sharing the only fag of the day which you have managed to procure with utmost difficulty coz of course all of you are broke, when it’s your turn take the fag and run.

5.During playing CS on the LAN, if there is a serious match going on don’t miss the opportunity. Flash and smoke your friends to oblivion.

6.During India-Pakistan 20-20 match pull the plug of the TV from its socket during a very critical moment.

7.Stand quietly behind a player when a heated match of 29 is going on and shout out his cards to everyone.

8.Send a love-card during Valentine’s Day in your friend’s name to some of the mammoths of the other species that reside in the Ladies’ Hostel. The uglier the specimen, the better reaction you would receive.

9.If you are from Mechanical branch make faces from outside the window to the hapless Electrical chaps coz of course you don’t have classes.

10.If you are of the Non-GMAT community attend the class when all the rest of your backbencher community has decided a mass bunk. Call the teachers personally.

11.During the class of Dr. Ghosh or some other dreaded Professor start hitting the ear-lobe of the guy sitting in-front of you.

12.Imbibe the Saha syndrome. Start being very intimate (physically) with your friends. If possible take off your pants in the middle of the room.

13.If one of your friend has been sent goodies from his home, and you have come to know of it. Don’t tell anyone and gobble it up all with your friend of course. Then start visiting everybody’s room remarking how tasty the food was.

14.In the early mornings quietly go into the rooms where communal sleeping is practiced. Smear toothpaste on someone’s nipples, paint moustaches and beards in marker pens and pour the foulest smelling powder on their heads. Just take care that you don’t make any noise and leave a note informing them that you were the perpetrator.

15.If you have unfortunately got a girl-friend go out with her everyday and describe what all you have eaten for Dinner to your seething friends. Better still, ask money from them to get a fag.

16.When people are busy playing on the LAN and their G-Talk ids have the message “Busy in a game. Dnd”, start pinging them away like mad. Buzz them; send them emoticons and stupid messages.

17.Start a rumor that the next day is a holiday. Cite the reason being some national bandh or whatever. People will believe you coz no one reads the papers.

18.Bore everyone by your rhymes, senseless songs and clichéd dialogues. For further information on this topic contact any guy from Mechanical Branch. They have written theses on the evolution of PJs.

19.When there is GPL going on in the quadrangle, incite the crowd from a balcony by throwing stones, water at them. Pull faces and make the declaration that no one has the guts to touch you.

20.A nasty but very effective tactic. Jack off on someone’s bed and don’t dispose off the stuff.

P.S. Tried and tested approaches.
P.P.S. 100% Guarantee from the author.
P.P.P.S. After a successful execution run like hell coz if you get caught you won’t live to tell the story.
:)

1 comment:

paranoid*android said...

Not da vintage chana venting his anger on da readers wid all his vocabulary antics.. But definitely the one which roams around half naked in da corridors..
GR8 work buddy.. thank u for swooping down to da levels of ur ardent but hapless readers...
nevr knew u cud change gears..