As I sat looking outside my window, watching the days slip by, a lot of ephemeral thoughts flit across my mind, chasing each other, gamboling playfully like Puck in the woods, completely oblivious to me. They trespass upon my darkest secrets, hidden in vaults dusty with time with absolute impunity. They mock at my pitiful attempts to restrain them. Lost in thought, lost in time I cannot separate myself from them, gazing on as they bring forth a new understanding to the things unseen, to the realms unexplored. I sleep fitfully being overwhelmed by the tempest raging within me. Chimerical shapes and creeping silhouettes, ghouls of my mental void seek to overpower me and drag me to the icy depths of hopelessness.
I have become a lunatic in my head. Self doubt gnaws incessantly at my brain, whispering insidious thoughts into my ears. I feel bile rising in my mouth. I lurch into the darkest pits of gloom, feeling nothing but a hopeless impotency in my attempts to shake of the shackles that bound me. I feel like a ship marooned in the doldrums taking the course of the non-existent winds.
I strive to clear my mind, gain control over my senses. I seek light, trying to see the sun. Then from out of nowhere I hear soothing strands of some beautiful music wafting towards me. I break the shackles binding me, finding the truth in a moment of utmost clarity. I seem to hover out of my body; my mind is a limitless horizon. I expand my thoughts, sleepwalking back on my past. I saw the mistakes I had committed, the frailties of my nature. I become whole again, gaining control over mind and body. The listlessness had lifted and I could breathe easy again. All the world had become my playground, the first Child of Man. Hope filled like air in my lungs, and exhilaration rushed through my blood. Faith pumped like adrenaline, coursing through my veins shaping my life as I saw fit. My sails have unfurled, seeking the lands unknown and paths uncharted.
I would never be the inveterate gambler of my destiny. I will carve my own way through the hopeless quagmire of life. I will go hammer and tongs on the obstacles in my path. I have hope and faith, which may be the best of things.
