On Feb 14

I was well into my early teens when I first heard of the Saint and the eponymously named festival held on Feb 14. I was yet untouched by Cupid’s arrows which had struck down so many of my friends leaving them bleeding their hearts out on the altar of love. I don’t know if love was in the air but change was certainly in the air. 

Girls became a sub-species under Homo Sapiens. Precious pocket money was spent on Archie’s cards rather than on Centerfresh cards. People who couldn’t string two sensible words together were waxing love lyrics. The Rose, a flower which I have always felt is a bit overhyped, assumed much more important connotations. Love-lorn expressions ruled the day instead of heated discussions on last evening’s WWE matches. People with the heart of a chicken were vowing to slit their wrists and seal their love in blood. The whole day was fraught with nervous tension, shaky legs, brittle laughter, some elated hearts and many broken ones. And as for me, I was nonplussed and amazed at the inanity surrounding the whole charade. It was something out of a Coen Brothers’ movie: funny but macabre at the same time.

The years have rolled on and the only things that has changed is the size of the dent made in your pocket. Globalization and the Commercialization of the arrows’ of Cupid have ensured that a mere card of the past isnt sufficient enough. V-Day is something to be planned to perfection right from the message in the card down to the tint of the roses. 

Now, lacking my previous asperity and the insolent candour of an armchair critic, I think I have gained a sliver of knowledge into the Valentine psyche.The social hypocrisy that enmeshes us so tightly in its grasp has ensured that love is in the movies, in all forms of music, in literature, in the air we breathe. It surrounds us everywhere, except that we never feel an iota of it. True Love is like an urban myth. Countless have heard of it, barely anyone has experienced it.

So if one day out of the other mundane 365 days is reserved entirely for the celebration of love, I don’t think its asking for too much. Never mind that next Valentine, you will be whispering sweet nothings into the ear of someone other than the special person of this year. Never mind that you are among the millions of souls whose love is unrequited this year. Never mind that this year you have no one special to celebrate it with. 

Cupid’s arrow will strike true some Valentine or the other. Then you wont belong to the class of people mentioned above. Then you will realize love need not a reason nor occasion to celebrate, neither doth it need to wait for Valentine’s Day to manifest itself.

A Paean to Friendship

As another epoch in my life draws to a close in a matter of months, I feel in my heart an unfamiliar tug of emotions and a rush of bittersweet memories. The rites of passage from an institution isn't a novel experience for me, they have been the bookmarks in a largely sordid and insipid book. Also I am not inclined towards the hysterics and melodrama that ensues at the time of bidding farewell to an institution.

Being endowed with a deeply cynical outlook towards life and all that comes with it, I have rarely paused to ponder about such stuff. Such thoughts are generally relegated to the locked attic in my brain which I rarely pay a visit, and if so its a perfunctory one, whose sole purpose is to reaffirm my own humanity.

I have always maintained the belief that in the journey of life there is never a co passenger for life. People accompany us in our journey to some milestone and then depart for their own destinations with their own preordained companions. Hence I have never been overtly sentimental about friendships and relations. People come and go. Some leave indelible impressions, etching their presence permanently, others are like the morning dew, beautiful while it lasts and leaving just a whiff of their fragrance in our lives.

But my nihilist stand has been shaken in these four years of glorious existence. As I took a break from the mad rat-race, I realized that only a gift of the gab and a self deprecating humor had made me an affable companion. That inadvertently I was seeking solitude in the midst of company. That I had not visited my locked attic in a long time.

Four years have passed since then. I no longer recall the milestones that had marked my participation in the race. I no longer despair much at my silly failures and nor do I rejoice alone in my not-so-big achievements. I no longer lock my attic.

I have realized the magnanimosity of my friends of yore, who have conveniently looked beyond my shortcomings of nature. I have realized that some people can accompany you in your journey of life, only if you don't push them away because of your fatalistic nature. I have realized that you can gain new insight into and be pleasantly surprised by the friends you have known since you were three feet tall.

As for my present life, I have made a lot of discoveries. I now know I can share rooms with the most slovenly person I have known. I also know now that its possible for a group of people to share everything except their tooth-brushes and underwear. That Communism maybe wasn't that a bad idea, equitable distribution of money leads to everyone having an equal share of the beers on the table. That it is possible for guys to think about their friends while sharing some food. That it is possible to take care of a whole wing when everyone else is broke. That it is possible to miss a friend whose sole purpose in the company is to eat every other person's brain with his wisecracks. That it is possible that a person can share designer stuff among his more uncouth friends who don't value the finer tastes of life. And that someone can a take a fall for you.

And some friendships cannot be defined. They bring a glow into your whole being that makes the whole existence beatified. Their absence makes you fret with anxiety and their presence worth the wait. You feel the urge to invite them into that private attic of yours from where the both of you can peek into that thing intrinsic of you, your soul. I am a skeptic of the idea of soul mates, but maybe this is the thing closest to that.

On The Fair(err..) Sex

Disclaimer: This is not penned with a malicious intent neither does this to seek to defame any person, whether living or dead. Any resemblance to any person or persons is purely coincidental and is deeply regretted:P

Now as this is my blog and I have full rights to post anything, I risk being branded as a Male Chauvinist Prick by the aforementioned sex in order to express some of my observations.
Now that I cant claim to have a vast experience of the other sex, these observations are just a collective experience of myself, friends and also a reputed youth writer. I welcome suggestions and explanations from the other sex to help me better understand them and clarify some of my pre-conceived notions. Anyways let me begin without much further ado.
1. Have you ever noticed that when you need utmost quiet and need to sort out things with yourself that's the precise moment you get asked " Why are you so quiet?". And just when you have decided to unveil all your secrets to the person thats exactly when you are asked to shut up.
2. Have you also ever noticed that most of the sentences between you two start and end with so. The sentences generally start with her telling So.... and they generally end with you explaining ....So. Or they might end with her saying " I told you so.."
3. Can anyone explain me why the tear glands of men are nearly vestigial organs while they work with redoubled vigour in case of women? You see men always start off with a disadvantage in an argument or something like that. And yet women are the weaker sex. Personally I suggest counting sheep or seconds is a very good idea when you are in the middle of such a tear-fiesta.
4. Also while each and every tiny little fault that you have comes under extreme scrutiny, you dont have any right to question any habits of theirs. Hell breaks loose if you tell them that you dont like something that they have done.
5. And if you are late for a date or a phone call, the Lord may save you. A verbal assault is inevitable. But if they are late for some appointment dont expect a sorry or whatever. Infact get ready to hear it sound as if it was your fault. Coz some bloody fool invented some crappy system called chivalry some 1000 years ago.
6. And what about the urban myth that girls behave like long lost sisters when they meet, but bitch about each other in private?
7. Probably I should not venture into some of the more inexplicable and other-worldly behaviours of girls like drawling out words, baby talk, giving cheesy, stupid nicknames, the fluttering of eyes, the collective shrieks of joy or the use of five differently colored pens to embellish their copies and records.
8. Another disconcerting fact is that girls always bemoan and wail about a endangered species called " Suitable Boyfriend". Maybe they expect something of a knight in shining armour. Sorry to disappoint you girls, you only find stuffed knights in armour in museum's nowadays.
And to potential boyfriends one tip from the movie "Just Friends": Please dont let the relation glide into that Friend Zone. You see once the girl considers you as your friend, your dating possibilities are screwed. Harry and Sally only exist on the silver screen.
9. And yes women play God these days. The adage " Man proposes. God disposes" is history. Today's saying is " Men propose. Women dispose".
10. But no need to despair folks. Coz evolution is on our side. The class stud or the football jock might get to date the prettiest chick, but when its time for marriage women go for the fattest chicken. And in our fucked-up society her daddy helps her find one. As The Worm says " In the poker of life women are the biggest rake".
I also believe all these feminists shouting all that crap about equal rights and all dont believe in it themselvs. They are the one who campaign about being the weaker sex and enforce the idea that women deserve some special privilege for being themselves. The moment you treat them as equals you get looked down upon as a chauvinist.
Yet, after writing all this I wish I was wrong about everything I said. It kills me to admit that girls make this world a little more beautiful place to live in. At least 3 years of Engg. have taught me that.

Howlers

After a long hiatus I return to a pet topic, Prof Bashing.

Some excerpts from our dear Profs
Physics HOD: Matter and Energy are two forms of the same thing. For example take a male boy and a female boy.

Now the next Prof boasts of a lot of enlightening comments. The stuff is more of NIT lore now.
Maths Prof: Yesterday I saw you in the market with my wife.
Maths Prof: Close the windows. There are a lot of atmospheric noises coming in.
( On the construction work going on upstairs)
Maths Prof: Its hot. Open the windows and let the atmosphere come in.
Maths Prof: Give me a red pen of any color.

Electrical HOD: Its very simple. Just multiply the 2 elements of the 2*2 matrix.
( On being told that the microprocessor kits were not giving results in case of matrix multiplication)

I desist from any further comments on this topic.

My Bucket List

I recently watched the Bucket List, a beautiful movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman about two terminally ill patients who make a bucket list, that encompasses everything they wish to do before they kick the bucket.
Now I am not a morbid personality neither I am too fascinated or concerned about death. Nevertheless I got intrigued about the idea. Now making lists is one of the most hackneyed ideas of all times. I myself admit being obsessed with making lists. Half my life has been spent in making lists including to-do lists, New Year lists, things to achieve lists, I wont repeat this lists, crush lists et al. I even had a friend who had a list of all the women he had jacked off to. And the best part of it is that you make the list on a paper and not on your conscience.
Anyways I spent one afternoon ruminating on my Bucket List and this is what I came up with.
1. Streak during the Director’s address at Convocation 2010 and coincidentally the Golden Jubilee of the Institute.
Yeah that’s what the bastard deserves. A heavenly glimpse of my epic ass.
2. Get a Master’s degree in English Literature from Oxford(where else) :P
Well Engg life is so boring I guess everyone wishes he had a degree in some other field other than Engg.
3. Attend the Rio Carnival.
Samba, Bikini babes, the Sand and the Sea, Christ Redeemer. As sultry as a vacation can become.
4. Headbang at a Metallica concert.
This item on the list is going to be crossed off as soon as Metallica confirm a tour of India.
5. Write a book that preferably makes me rich and famous.
6. A date with Kate Winslet.
Yeah yeah. I am obsessed with her. But you see she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
7. A full body massage from Monica Bellucci.
And she happens to be the sexiest.
8. Go bungee jumping.
Have always wanted to experience free fall, that rush of blood into the head and heart stopping exhilaration.
9. Help save the sharks from extinction.
Jaws was a crap of a movie and more men die of stupidity than shark attacks.
10. A trip across the Great Australian Outback.
Crocs, Snakes, Ayers Rock, Aborigines and a hell of an adventure.
11. Getting marooned on a Coral Island for a week.
I think this will be on the list of anyone who has read the R.M Ballantyne classic.
12. Create a comic strip.
I have enough experience I think, 3 years have been spent doing cartoons in class.
13. Direct a movie.
With the plagiarized crap dished out by Bollywood every year, I am sure I can do a better job. If Karan Johar can make movies so can I.
14. Peek down at the Colorado river from atop the Grand Canyon.
15. Experience all the cuisines of the world.
Cant help it. I am an epicure and dying for good food after 3 years in this measly place.
16. Develop an athletic figure.
With half my life being bestowed with nicknames of varying rudeness due to the fact that I am plump(not intended as an euphemism), I want to experience hpw it feels to have a pack of abs.
17. Go on a backpacking trip across the Himalayas.
This is on the cards for next summer. Hope that no body chickens out at the last minute.
18. Learn to play the guitar.
It has been on this list since I heard Pink Floyd.
19. Have a personal library.
20. Spend a day at the Louvre.
21. Fall in love.
And that my friends, will be the biggest adventure of all
22. Convince Dad to quit his job and go freelance journalism.
23. Go on a world tour with my sweetheart.
No explanations.
24. Watch the world pass by.
The biggest leisure of all.
25. Witness a miracle.